"No day but today..."

Oh, Markus,

I keep thinking about how unfair it is that your life was cut so very short. I do not see the sense in it, nor do I care to. My anger at the loss of you makes it easier to cope with my sadness. So, forgive me, I'm going to be mad for a little while. Maybe a long while.

I already miss you terribly and it's only been hours. You were a wonderful friend, even on your grumpy days. I have so many happy memories with you that I will carry and treasure forever.

The purpose of this blog was for me to track my travel adventures, so I thought this post may not be appropriate, no matter how therapeutic. Ironically, though, one of my first independent travel adventures was with you. Our trip to Wyoming to visit Nick is a very bright spot in my travel journal. Because of my inadequacies as a travel partner, I was so lucky to have you. You were an excellent travel buddy. Remember how I forgot my ID and didn't realize it until Wendy was driving us to the Chicago airport? Or how I kept falling asleep when you drove us home in the middle of the night so that I could get to work on time the next day? Or how you made me laugh by being goofy on the moving sidewalks while our flight was delayed for so long in Denver? Not too mention driving all around Laramie looking for the Walmart so that I could cook obscene amounts of food for all of those silly car people.

Everything about that trip was a traveler's dream: unexpected adventures, no itinerary, exploration, good eats, and great friends. Here's a photo from our trip since you left in such a hurry, I know you probably forgot to take the album with you:


I feel overwhelmed with guilt when I think about all that is ahead of me and all you were not able to experience. You had such big, unorganized dreams for your life... just like me. That's probably why I found such a kindred spirit in you. You were a wanderer, for sure, but never lost. Looking for something, though not quite sure what. So much I identified with.

You're heart was as big as this great, big world I plan on experiencing and there's a place in mine that you've always occupied. I'll keep you right there, if you'll stay, and take you with me wherever I may go.

I am determined, now, to live this next year in memory and honor of you, Mark. I promise to do it all to the absolute fullest, to live every second as my last. You had so much more to give. I promise to share your big bear hugs with all I meet, and spread your life and love all around the world. Oh, and I'll check in on your mom every now and then, too. :-)

I am so lucky to have been blessed with your presence in my life, even if for such a short time.

I dig you, Markus.

Bear down. Save me a spot close to you!

Love always and forever,

Molly

"...yearning to breathe free."

“A wise traveler never despises his own country.” - Carlo Goldoni

I begin this post (and this blog) with this quote for two reasons.

For one, I find that popular quotes are a modern day scripture without the divinity. They are quoted and repeated for a reason, as those with far more experience in life have said them, meant them, and believed them important enough to pass on. Those who heard them or read them, found enough truth in them to pass them on or point them out. All of this being said, a good quote can inspire me. I will often begin my posts with an appropriate quote, so get used to it. It also helps keep me focused, because I tend to drag on and on and on and on.

Secondly, it's almost her BIRTHDAY! I love America (and birthdays). My future travels are merely my way of exploring and discovering, not to get out of an area I feel trapped in. Is it neccesary to leave the U.S. of A. to grow and change? Absolutely not. It is a vast land full of people that are as different as night and day. It is beautiful, and I'm grateful to have the opportunity to live in a place that allows me to dream and discover in whatever way I see fit.

In just under a month, I will be travelling to Dongbaek, South Korea to teach kindergarten in a small private language school, a hagwon. Dongbaek is a suburb of Seoul in Yongin City. Well, I think that's true anyway. I haven't really grasped how they group towns, cities, provinces, etc. yet, so I'll keep you posted.

This is going to be quite an adventure for me. I have signed a one year contract, which is the longest I've EVER been away from home. I've never been to Asia. I've never traveled outside of the US alone. I don't speak Korean. And, most importantly, I've never taught before. There are tons of "something news" in my future. I'm terrified and excited.

I've been asked the question, "Why Korea?" so often that you'd think I'd have formulated a reasonable answer by now. The truth is, I ask myself the question, "Why not?" and cannot come up with a reasonable answer to that either. People smarter than me (and my own life experiences) suggest that I will regret the things I have not done more than the things I have. There's only one way to find out.

Also, I have a fear of settling on normalcy out of fear of the unknown. That's a lot of fear. To master it, I figure: go big or go home. No sense in taking babysteps when I can take a HUGE leap :-).

My goals for this year are daunting, yet achievable (I hope): to be brave, curious, and inspired.

I haven't quite figured out what it is I'm searching for, but I believe if I do everything with those three goals in mind, eventually I'll find it.

Thanks for joining me. This blog will be used as a tool for me to keep a personal journal of my travels, to update those who wonder about my adventures, and to reflect on my search for whatever it is that I'm looking for. Any comments, suggestions, or words of encouragement or constructive criticism are greatly appreciated.

Happy 4th of July! May you handle the blessings of freedom with care and use them to their greatest potential.

God Bless 'Merica.